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How Growing into Yourself is a Lifetime Process

No matter how old we get, we are constantly growing and changing. We are evolving through experience into who we were always meant to be.

As we age, we realize what is truly important in life, and we begin to follow our hearts and our intuition more and more.

According to Spirituality & Health,

My friend is in his 40s now, still searching for a persona to call his own but integrating that search with a building a full life. How we define ourselves and reach our potential has a lot to do with creating an inner culture of self-discovery that lasts throughout all stages, experiences, and phases of life. We are works in progress; in order to make progress, we have to keep discovering ourselves.

As we age, we learn to say no to the things that aren't aligned with our goals. We say no to people who aren't contributing to our lives in a positive way.

Being able to set boundaries for ourselves, and taking time for self-care are crucial aspects of personal growth that we realize as we get older and grow into the best version of ourselves.

Being Young

When we are young, it is easy to follow the crowd and do things that we feel like we 'should' do. We choose a college major based on aptitude tests and what we think we like to do, or what we think will make money.

We choose mates based on love, without thinking about compatibility. We don't always ask the important questions in relationships to determine that we have chosen a mate that we can grow with. This can often lead to painful divorces down the line when one partner changes and the other doesn't.

As we are growing up, we are taught to follow a social script that tells us, go to college, get a good job, get married, have kids, buy a house. These are the things that are 'supposed' to fulfill you in life.

The problem with following a social script is that we are just doing what we think we 'should' do, instead of asking ourselves what it is that we actually want in life.

Midlife crisis

The term midlife crisis is often applied to anyone who 'wakes up' in middle age to realize that life isn't fulfilling us. This often happens because of burn out, or a major event like a divorce that leaves us questioning our values, and realizing that the things that were supposed to be important in life are taking us away from our own happiness.

According to Very Well Mind,

A midlife crisis is a shift in identity that sometimes affects middle-aged adults between the ages of 40 and 60. This crisis can affect self-concept and self-confidence, leading to changes in moods, behaviors, emotions, and relationships as people cope with the transition to midlife.
It’s thought that aging leads to feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety. And a midlife crisis is a phase that helps people feel youthful again as they struggle to come to terms with the fact that their lives are half over.
But, the emotional turmoil some people experience during midlife doesn’t always lead to major lifestyle changes that involve the desire to be young again. In fact, a midlife crisis could turn into something positive.

When you are going through a midlife crisis, you can begin to question yourself, and question the values you have grown up with. You may question where you are in your career and relationships, and wonder if you have made wrong choices with where you have placed your energy.

Creating change

When you feel you are experiencing a midlife crisis, you can start to look at your life more objectively, and ask yourself what you really want from life. You can look at your priorities and values and determine if they are still serving you.

You can take some time for introspection in the form of:

  • Meditation

  • Journaling

  • Going to therapy

  • Making a vision board

  • Talking to trusted friends

It is also important to take time for extra self-care when you are going through a massive shift internally. Taking care of yourself is important, so that you can move forward in life.

When you meditate and journal, or talk things through with a therapist, you can start to feel like you are gaining a new direction in life for yourself. This can allow you to be open to more of your feelings, and to find a new way forward that serves you better.

Redefining your values can be scary and difficult. It is a time where you go through a lot of confusion, fear and anxiety. Try to take as much time as you need to think about what you really want and need out of life, even if it is very different than the way that you are currently going.

In order to create change in your life, you may want to look at a different career, a move, or taking on a passion project. Maybe you want to start your own business or start a side-hustle so that you can explore new ways of taking control of your finances.

You can also start volunteering, or take up new hobbies and interests in your spare time.

All these are ways that you can begin to change your life, and go in a new direction.

If you are in a relationship, be sure to talk to your partner about what you are feeling, and what you are going through. This way, you can make a plan together to put more happiness and passion into your lives. It is important to work as a team, so that your partnership doesn't break under the stress of big changes.

Finding spirituality

When you are going through a midlife crisis or another big life change, often it helps to turn inward through spiritual introspection. There are many ways to do this, such as through prayer or meditation.

Personally, I use yoga and meditation regularly to help myself find a sense of balance in a chaotic life. This really helps me to feel like I am doing something good for myself, and creating a sense of inner peace.

Finding a sense of spirituality can help you to feel centered and balanced inside yourself. This can help you find a new direction from inside yourself, and feel more centered.

As you age, you can continue growing into yourself, and continue redefining your priorities and values. This will allow you to become the best version of yourself, and to live the best life possible.

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