Looking at Other People's Relationships Helps me Appreciate My Own

Do you ever start to feel down about your relationship? Do you feel stuck in a rut, or like things aren't moving in the direction that you want them to?

Sometimes, it can help to take a look at the relationships of people around you, to help you appreciate your own relationship more. Learning to feel gratitude for all the good things in your relationship can help you feel happier and more at peace with the way things are.

I have a girlfriend that is always complaining about her husband, and how he doesn't help her around the house. She seems unhappy with the way things are, but even when she complains to him it seems to fall on deaf ears.

This is in sharp contrast to my partner, who takes everything to heart when we talk about it, and always listens to me. He also helps around the house and with our daughter, which is great.

Some of this can be due to our non-traditional gender roles in our relationship. He stayed home with our daughter until she was 3.5 years old, so he is used to keeping the household in order. If anything I need to help him more, not the other way around.

Which boat are you in with your relationship? Are things generally good, or do you feel like you have a lot of complaints? Do you talk things through with your girlfriends on a regular basis?

Seeing either relationships that are better or worse than yours can give you some perspective on the way things are going. Think about if you are always the one complaining, always the one giving advice, or if it is an equal give and take.

Relationship Tips

If you are the one always complaining about your relationship, think about whether you have addressed these complaints in a discussion with your partner. If not, consider doing so right away so that you can get your relationship back on track. Communication is always key in having a good relationship.

However, if you have talked to your partner about things, and consistently disagree or you see no change in their behavior, you may want to think about going to couples therapy or a relationship coach. This can make a big impact on improving your communication.

Good communication is key in any relationship that is going to be successful long-term, and working on your communication skills can really help with improving your relationship.

Some books that I have read to work on communication skills are:

Crucial Conversations

Non-Violent Communication

Wired for Love

All of these books talk about improving your communication skills, so that you can be sure you are having the best possible communication with your partner. I highly recommend reading any of these books, especially with your partner, so that you can improve your communication skills if needed.

Gratitude for a good partner

If you are the friend always giving the relationship advice however, I would suggest taking a look at your partner and finding all the things you are grateful for about your relationship. Sure, there may be struggles. But you are probably happy overall.

You could journal about it and make a gratitude list after listening to your friend's bitch sessions. Or, you could write a gratitude letter and give it to your partner. You may be surprised the impact this can have on your relationship.

I hope that whichever side of the fence you are on, the friend who complains or the friend who gives advice, that you are able to work on your own relationship so that you are happy and grateful for your partner every day.