What to Do When One Parent Needs Assistance and the Other Doesn't
top of page

What to Do When One Parent Needs Assistance and the Other Doesn't



Guest post by Amos Faulkner. Amos Faulkner wants to help people “do money well.” Money is a constant in our lives. Yet, as a bank teller, Amos realized that many people don’t pay enough attention to how much they have or how much they need, now and in the future. Well, now, the buck stops with his site, domoneywell.com. From teaching your children how to manage their money to saving for your golden years, Amos will cover it all.


You probably imagined your parents would age together. You might have pictured them helping each other so they could spend their lives living independently as long as possible. Unfortunately, there could come a time when one of your parents is unable to adequately care for themselves. If the physical and psychological strain of caring for a spouse becomes too much for your parent, you should consider a nursing home. Today, we share some tips and resources to help you through this challenging time.


Visit Millenial Mom for tips for moms on mental health, parenting, finances, and more!


Carefully Select the Right Nursing Home

Keep in mind that there are different levels of care. Before you begin choosing, you should get an idea of how much care the parent needs so you know which type of care to look for. This could save you money in the long run.


Additionally, you should carefully choose a care home that's known to provide outstanding care. Reviews online can help you find one. When you find quality care for your parent, you and the other parent will have less stress.


Make sure you also factor in location. You want a nursing home that's within the general vicinity so you and your parent can visit and get there quickly in the event of an emergency.


Consider Downsizing the Other Parent's Home

A house is a huge responsibility that often requires two people to make it run smoothly. Your other parent may not be able to handle the monetary or physical tasks of maintaining the house.


Consider moving the other parent to a senior living community, apartment, or smaller house with less yard.


Ideally, before you move your other parent, you should start helping them reduce the clutter in their current home and find other ways to plan ahead.


Think About Selling the Home

The financial burden of nursing home care can be immense. The average cost of care is over $100,000 per year. Some nursing homes don't accept insurance and require you to cover the cost out of pocket. In this case, the total expense is up to the person in care and their family.


Whether your loved one has insurance or not, you may want to consider selling their home. The money from selling the home can be used to cover the monthly cost and any unexpected expenses of nursing home living.


When deciding if this is a feasible solution, make sure you calculate the home's equity accurately. Then, subtract the amount owed on the home from the current market value.


Consider a Reverse Mortgage

A reverse mortgage is another option that's particularly beneficial in situations where only one individual needs care. Your other parent could remain in the home for as long as they need with this option.


You borrow against the value of their home with a reverse mortgage, and you don't need to pay back the money until both of your parents have moved.


Remember Your Other Parent Is Going Through a Hard Time

While you have to address the care of your parent and its accompanying financial obligation, you also need to remember that your other parent may be struggling mentally. Make sure you take time to console them.


Nursing Home Care Is Less Stressful Than You Think

When you have a plan, you can more easily find nursing care for a parent with less stress. Just make sure you keep in mind the needs and desires of the other parent.


Image via Pexels


Sign up for my email list to get your free Motherhood Resource Toolkit. Includes over 30 pages worth of FREE resources to organize your mom life.



Picture of elderly couple with text that reads, what to do when one parent needs assistance and the other doesn't
Pin for Later

bottom of page